Valentin Bunea’s Secret

Behind the smile there is a secret. This is one of THOSE posts that gets me in trouble for telling the harsh truth. I expect my readers to unfollow me, unfriend me, hide all my posts after this one.

There’s no point in hurting your eyes with articles that call things what they are. So only elite members will have access to them.

Remember about me telling you how I was always on diets and weightloss programs every since I was 10 years old and overweight...

✅ I WAS ALWAYS ON A DIET

Why was I doing that? Because I have never resigned to my condition as an overweight person. I never enjoyed playing the role of the victim.

„13 years ago I lost weight and I’ve kept my figure ever since” – it sounds good from the outside.

In reality, I am addicted to food. I have an overgrown stomach, but I also do good management.

✅ MANAGEMENT

„13 years ago I was a pre-diabetic, but today my medical test results are stellar” – sounds good from the outside, right?

In reality, I am just a diabetic with really good management.

In 2012 I was diagnosed with a double herniated disk. I went to see 4 specialists in 2 different countries and the answer I got was the same: you need to have surgery and when the pain becomes unbearable, we’ll be waiting for you.

Today, I do weightlifting exercises: squats, deadlifts, military press. Sounds good from outside.

In reality, it’s not about miracle healing, I just have good management.

✅ I AM AN ADDICT

I am a foody. I am addicted to food. I can abstain, until the moment comes when I cannot. And I let go. Then I have to repair what I „broke”, then I let go again. And on, and on...

However, in these past few years, this hasn’t happened that often.

I feel like an „alcoholic” – I can abstain until I relapse. I never managed to find a solution for emotional/compulsive eating.

However, I did develop good management skills for this.

✅ I AM AN ADDICT 2

I am a food addict who figured out early enough that no one really wants to help you with your problem.

Here are some constant things I heard: „Come on, just take one slice”, or „Just one little piece of candy”, or „You grew up with this kind of food”. It’s only common sense stopping me from yelling:

„CAN’T YOU SEE I AM OBESE? STOP INSISTING LIKE AN A*****E”.

There are many a******s out there. Some people do wish the best things for you, but definitely less than for themselves.  

✅ THE THIN HUSBAND

Here’s another common scenario. Your husband is thin, you are 40 kg overweight. You’re always on a diet.

He gets to eat all sorts of junk in front of you and tell you: „It’s your problem, why should I change for you?”.

The answer is: „Why? Because if you won’t support me, I’ll leave”.

But you will never say that. And you will never walk away, because even though you are dozens of kilos overweight on the outside, you are weak on the inside. But you know better, you only live once after all.

Unfortunately, your health only depends on your choices.

✅ I AM AN ADDICT 3

I am a food addict that has removed all temptations in his house. I have NOTHING in my house that might tempt me.

I don’t have to prove to anyone how „strong-willed” I am and how I can abstain. That’s because I can’t and I won’t.

It’s like being a diabetic who was just told by his doctor that he will amputate his other leg as well if he doesn’t start dieting.

What do you do? In the final hour, would you still keep sweets around the house? Would you still bake pies every day?

What would you do? Is it your problem? Should you abstain?

✅ YOUR CHILDREN ARE OVERWEIGHT

Here’s another „popular” scenario: you have an overweight child – what do you do? Do you keep bread, cereal, sweets and sodas around the house? Yes, you do.

Instead of changing nourishment habits around the house (you know: regular soups and main courses for everyone), you’re only thinking that the kid would get frustrated.

The kid is already frustrated when his classmates make fun of him for being overweight.

Time passes, the kid becomes an adult. Who do you think (s)he will blame?

That kid will blame you. When (s)he’ll turn 18, (s)he’ll ask you for money for bariatric surgery. Then, after you say no, (s)he’ll blame you.

There are many clinics that’ll make good money creating „diet plans” for your kid. It’s ok – you’ll afford it. Anything for the kid.

Change starts with you, the parents. Go to sleep early, eat proper food, go out walking in the park every day. You know…?

Children work on the „Monkey See - Monkey Do” formula.

I take my kids to the park every weekend. Ever since they were born. We get out of the house in the early morning and only come back in the evening.

We walk, we roller skate, we cycle from morning until evening. Every Saturday and Sunday.

✅ „IT’S BECAUSE OF ALL THOSE ELECTRONIC DEVICES”

This excuse („the kid is getting fat because he’s on his phone or tablet all day”) is not valid. Because he only does what he sees you doing.

Do you sit around with a book and hand your kid a device to watch YouTube videos?

If your children are fat, it’s 100% your fault.

✅ REMEMBER: I AM AN ADDICT

I am an addict who understood that pretzels and bagels have no place in the diet of a person who cannot control oneself.

I stopped eating such foods over a decade ago. How do I do it?

When I walk past a pastry shop, I don’t stop, I don’t look in the window. I just walk across the street.

✅ NEVER

As you can already imagine, I NEVER, I repeat, NEVER go buy junk food from a pastry shop with my kids.

I just show them from a distance how the people queueing for pretzels look like. I also show them other children eating junk food.

I say: „Look how those kids look like, look at what they’re eating, look at how their parents look like”.

And yes, it works. It’s all part of the education process.

„But Valentin, some people have little money, so they’ll just buy their kids pretzels”.

2 pretzels = 1 USD. 4 eggs = 1 USD. See? It’s about education, not about money.

✅ SOMETHING EXQUISITE

On weekends, we’ll go together and have the finest ice cream. The rule is that we’ll take ONE ice cream cup or ONE eclair and all 3 of us will share it.

I want to teach my kids that sweets are a weekend exception. And that should be a truly exquisite experience.

You don’t gorge yourself on sweets because you’re „hungry” – just because someone just put a big tray of cookies in front of you, doesn’t mean you have to eat it all.

You don’t keep a „goodies drawer” in the house so you can blame electronic devices for your kid becoming overweight.

Keeping junk food in the house is the worst possible habit you can have.

„Yes, Valentin, but there’s a store 5 minutes away from my house, I can go and buy junk food anytime I want”.

Ok, let me see you get dressed and go out at 11 PM just so you can get some junk food. From my experience working with thousands of people for over a decade: laziness beats cravings.

✅ I AM AN ADDICT

I am a food addict who doesn’t go out „for a pint” with his friends so we can talk about „football” or „politics”. I don’t drink beer, I don’t follow politics or sports.

I don’t go to street food festivals or any kind of nonsense like that. That would mean putting myself in front of temptation. I know better than that.

I did once go to one of those street food festivals. I kept my cool for an hour. After that, I just ran amok and grabbed food from all those stalls, like the Tasmanian Devil. I learned my lesson.

I don’t go where people sniff the proverbial cocaine just so I can abstain. Does this make sense?

✅ I AM AN ADDICT

I am a food addict who carefully selected his social circle.

I only go out to lunch with friends or families with children. With people who are educated and don’t keep a bottle of Coca-Cola on the table.

I don’t go out with people who order desserts – you know, mostly dough cooked in oil and with a bucket of whipped cream and also some jam on top. That’s just wrong.

My kids need to see real examples of strong, principled people with healthy habits.

✅ I AM AN ADDICT

I am a food addict who built an excellent management system in all these years of trial and error.

Many people don’t even realize that the job I have now is another process that helps me keep my figure and my habits in check.

When I decided to start Body Engineering, I was working in Saudi Arabia and making over 10k USD per month.

I gave that career up so I can do what I like. So I can do something that brings me the most satisfaction.

If money gave me fulfillment, I could have just kept going.

If I was money-hungry, I could have created my own brand of supplements, protein powder, power bars and could have done so many sponsorships.

Most likely, within 2-3 years I won’t even do nutrition coaching. I noticed many online users are bothered by this.

Today, I feel fulfilled. I feel that if I can help people around me, my life has a sense of purpose.

✅ I HAD A DREAM

When I was young, I promised myself I would do everything and anything necessary to be healthy and in share. I have done it. Today, I am living my dream.

By the way, do you know why I never accepted my condition as an overweight person? Because I perceived those extra kilos as a handicap.

Someone who cannot run with his kids, tie their shoelaces, lift and carry heavy things (furniture, kids, luggage, groceries) is helpless.

I can accept many things, but I cannot accept HELPLESSNESS.

I cannot have kids looking at me and see a „weak” fat person.

Can you live with this?

I can’t.